Months worth of polling couldn’t predict the result of the U.S election, so could a psychic animal have done a better job? On the verge of huge events in modern times, some people have resorted to animal predictions to find the answers they deeply need before the events happen. As human psychics are largely found to be fraudulent, it’s down to the psychics of the animal kingdom who have managed to remain credible in an era where psychic predictions are seen as old hat.
Scottish Spiritual Billy Goat
Many Clinton fans had their hopes set on the soothsayer named Boots, a goat from Roxburghshire who correctly predicted the Brexit vote in June. Sadly for fans of Hilary, he was as wrong as the pollsters.
Chinese Mind Reading Monkey
Trump was predicted to win by Geda, a simian psychic known for predicting the winners of European football matches. His foray into political forecasting will likely give him the credibility he needs to go on working as a monkey that sees the future.
Psychic Parrot Duo
These parrots told us the election was in the bag for Clinton, pecking and clawing at her name like they were absolutely sure she was going to clinch it. We reached out to the parrots, but they declined to comment.
Polarising Polar Bear & Fortune Telling Tiger
At Royev Ruchey zoo in Krasnoyarsk, Siberia, election predictions were cast by giants of the oracle animal scene. In the red corner, we had Felix, the 1500 pound polar bear whose mind was set on Trump to win the presidency, while in the blue there was 700-pound liberal tigress Yunona, Clinton supporter and advocate of women’s rights.
Supernatural Swing State Dogs
In Cleveland, Ohio where the GOP Convention was held earlier this year, the city turned to its dog population to find out the results of the election. The combination of dog treats and chew toys has been proven to increase clairvoyant behavior in dogs. An attempt was made to reach out to Cleveland’s cat population, but they appeared to be disinterested in the political process.
Special Mentions : RIP Paul, The Psychic Octopus
Sadly, the world’s most famous psychic octopus is no longer on this earth to make his thoughts known. Paul, whose specialty was predicting the outcomes of football matches would likely have a lot of traction in the run-up to the election. His protege is a Manchester based octopus named Otto, but he is widely seen as a hack after his failure to foresee the win for Leave during the Brexit referendum. Here’s to you Paul, the octopus who stole our hearts and helped our chances at the bookies.